Here is a short video that we recently posted on line to give some recognition to those in the “Sandwich Generation” who are dealing with still having young children in the home while helping an aging loved one.
One of the items that we really don’t deal with enough is the issue of guilt. And this happens on both sides of the age divide. The aging loved one sometimes feels guilty that they need help from their family and know how disruptive it can be for a family member who must take time off from work to transport them to a doctor’s appointment. The care recipient sometimes will try to hide their deteriorating condition so as not to worry their family.
This can work for a while but sooner or later the family will have conversations that begin with “Have you seen Mom walk? She almost falls over every few steps.” This inclination to hide limitations doesn’t benefit anyone and could end up with a hospital visit to fix a broken hip.
The family care giver is many times torn between their own family, their job and taking care of the aging loved one. Each area has it’s own set of criteria and demands and of course the ever present guilt.
Hey folks unless you have a big “S” on your blue tights realize that you can’t do everything. Realize that you need to get some help or at least some relief. If you don’t you will be packing that guilt from one situation to the next and that guilt could very easily turn into anger and rage. Let it go!
Treasure each moment you have with your aging loved one because their time with you is dwindling. Treasure each moment you have with your children because they will soon be grown and gone with families of their own. You just can’t recapture those moments. I know. I have tried. Both aging loved ones and children are blessings in their own special way. Both present their own special trials for you to handle but I often think of this bible verse when I am overwhelmed by the day. “Consider it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” James 1:2
There is a special place reserved in heaven for caregivers and that is why we refer to ours as “angels”.